% id = "01HFYZKREVNWZMAJSYCYBEPK6C"
- this is where I get all existential and stuff

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    + but if you've been wondering what makes my brain tick, you've come to the right place

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        - perhaps my thoughts here will be more than *just* pure philosophy and worldview, who knows!

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    - **perhaps this will be the most controversial branch of this tree, so maybe if you don't like to
    get all fired up... stop reading here.**

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        - but if you decide to stay please approach these thoughtfully and respectfully, with more
        of a a "this is interesting" than "I disagree with this" vibe

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+ :page: hedonic treadmill ([wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill))

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    + a concept that's incredibly useful in keeping it cool

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        - because what of those depressing days, if next day you may wake up and feel 100x better

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    + a concept that's incredibly scary when you love someone

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        - because what of these moments where you're incredibly happy, if you're gonna feel normal
        tomorrow anyways

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    - as scary of a concept it is when you're feeling well, it's useful to remember about the
    treadmill when you're down. and don't think that it'll ruin a good day, just don't think about
    it then.

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+ :page: just shut up sometimes

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    - I just caught myself writing a few paragraphs long comment on [Lobsters](https://lobste.rs) without really understanding what the author of the comment meant in the broader context of the discussion,
    after which I deleted my comment and gave myself a pat on the back for avoiding accidentally derailing the discussion.

        % id = "01HREVZNAHRC9BJZJPH9RE21PE"
        - this is an unfortunate side effect of the tree-based structure of Lobsters.
        as much as I like tree-based forums, as they let you focus on many different (off-)topics without cluttering the main thread,
        it's damn near impossible to keep the broader context of *what the discussion is about* when the thread nests more than 3 levels deep.

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    - therefore, if you ever find yourself writing an essay about just how wrong someone is, think to yourself: am I *really* understanding what's going on in this discussion?
    and if not - maybe just shut up and let the rest of the idiots fan the flames instead.

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- :page: in wisdom you become old

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    + this is kind of weird, but recently I have noticed I no longer keep up with slang

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        - the fuck is a skibidi??

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    - maybe this is because I no longer browse memes.
    not on our friend circle's private Discord, not on Reddit, pretty much nowhere

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        - memes largely arrive to me directly from specific people.
        I don't go out to kill boredom with memes anymore.

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        - at some point I realized browsing memes adds nothing to my life, and I just stopped doing it.
        obviously something had to take their place in killing time, and that became... reading [Lobste.rs](https://lobste.rs).
        I think that's a net positive since you can genuinely learn a lot from people's writing about computing, but getting time for that required abandoning memes.

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    - the realization that I gain nothing by browsing memes is probably what one could call a piece of _wisdom_; life knowledge, stuff that shapes your worldview.

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        + but by gaining more wisdom, I have lost knowledge of popculture

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            - not that you can define _popculture_ in today's society that well anyways.
            there are so many little corners of culture that it's hard to tell what's popular anymore

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    - ...don't tell anyone, but I like it that way.
    I can focus on my art and making it unique.
    no need to chase trends.

        % id = "01J1Q8SBGFTFAS3BRAGPZC1G0N"
        - even if it means being called an old fart at some point.
        timeless > trendy