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7ed19454f2
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 liquidex
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7ed19454f2 | ||
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liquidex
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dfe45abe7d |
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@ -1,40 +1,51 @@
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% id = "01JDDE33S6T32XGTM21T6581Z5"
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% id = "01JCY18RY6T32XGTM21T6581Z5"
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- overcoming [fear of the unknown][page:philosophy/fear-of-the-unknown], episode 1.
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% id = "01JCY18RY6PSVMHVQB3SGDK820"
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- overthinking my [furry][page:philosophy/furry] self again.
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my heart is pounding.
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% id = "01JDDE33S66AG2JQCBQT3GYACX"
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% id = "01JCY18RY66AG2JQCBQT3GYACX"
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- I play Blue Calx.
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% id = "01JCY18RY6WVSRX2NNV20GFG4C"
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- as the first notes come in, I sense warm feeling, as if being hugged by someone.
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"it's gonna be okay..."
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% id = "01JCY18RY6ZH2P62ANPFX4FS2A"
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- "you've been through much mental stress before.
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but this... there's no need to panic."
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% id = "01JCY18RY6AYZQX658AH7VCG79"
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- they takes me outside to appreciate the city lights.
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we fly high up into the sky to watch from above.
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% id = "01JCY18RY6V4CX9S4T7G6DYB82"
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- the warm distortion of the tape gives me a sense of nostalgia.
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% id = "01JCY18RY66K56ZSJAJFZQ00S3"
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- I am relieved to be in the place I am right now.
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% id = "01JCY18RY615QGGCGJ9N7H1VGG"
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- as the notes fade away for a moment, only the metronome remains. it makes me feel empowered, but scared.
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"will it really be okay?"
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% id = "01JCY18RY6FM6WV20CBE434H5N"
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- "look at everyone around you.
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struggling just as much as you are.
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you are not alone in this."
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% id = "01JCY18RY696J1NHQS57DWG6BH"
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- the notes come back in to hug me again.
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the warm embrace of the other part of my self.
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% id = "01JCY18RY653Y69109NVR5AZN1"
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- the metronome starts fading away.
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it really is going to be okay.
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% id = "01JDDE33S606YTH6EXW70Y6YTB"
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% id = "01JCY18RY606YTH6EXW70Y6YTB"
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- thank you, Richard.
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% id = "01JDDE33S61ZHW39ZZ03STAF6Z"
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% id = "01JCY18RY61ZHW39ZZ03STAF6Z"
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- my heart's still pounding, but hearing this track made me feel a little better about myself.
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@ -10,6 +10,10 @@
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- hey don't make this weird, okay.
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showers are good for having thoughts.
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% content.link = "philosophy/responsibility"
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id = "01JDJ0RF3KJ2DT7E4RFVB79ZJH"
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+ :page: on responsibility & conformity
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% content.link = "philosophy/furry"
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id = "01JCGVBXVME8DC9T79GQPXFZ3C"
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+ :page: furry! ---w---
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@ -38,3 +42,4 @@
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content.link = "philosophy/hedonic-treadmill"
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+ :page: hedonic treadmill ([wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill))
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88
content/philosophy/responsibility.tree
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88
content/philosophy/responsibility.tree
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@ -0,0 +1,88 @@
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%% title = "on responsibility & conformity"
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DTY60R2Y0Y3J9FH0W"
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- most of us probably can't imagine holding a company talk on a tech conference while wearing a fursuit.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DBDP937C7CB2CY5EP"
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- I had this revelation today that it would be extremely funny if I did something like that, only for the thought of harsh reality to come knocking at my door.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DVMQ6T3H7EQY86QCD"
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- if you're giving a presentation on behalf of your company, you are _representing_ the company, so any clownage you pull will have negative consequences on the company's [PR]{title="public relations"}.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DM4B385FC01FP9MH4"
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- but honestly, I can't shake the feeling that _something is broken here_.
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why do we, as a society, fear sillyness?
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DF8MQ3ZE7C7CYAE92"
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+ this is not even something our company can fix, no matter how much it portrays to be rebellious or how big, red and bold we make the "*[WE BREAK RULES, WE MAKE RULES]{style="--recursive-casl: 0; --recursive-wght: 800;"}*" text on our website.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DHHD4QRNPCXNEWVSD"
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- which I find ironic considering we make games for mainstreamers.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4D3K5N7EQ6CCZJJZAT"
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- I was thinking about this all day, because it left me dismayed.
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why can I not share my fun and silly with the world at will?
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what's wrong with speaking in a fluffy suit on a tech conference?
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DKYPR3TTP2EQJT6E5"
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- and one word came to my mind. "responsibility."
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DS45GTSXEZ2R6ANT4"
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- You are responsible for the company image, [Mr.](https://projectile.bandcamp.com/album/sinking){.secret title="Projectile."} {-Anderson-} liquidex.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DCXZBSDZT29PWAG1R"
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- so what is responsibility?
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4D5BSXGKXBP4Y14TMA"
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- one might think it's acting "like an adult would," but that doesn't really tell you anything, does it?
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DYNS21D5C4VPP0GSP"
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- maybe looking at it from a different angle, you could say that if you're taking care of someone, you're responsible for any harm that happens to them.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DZ4CGH5GZVZYK1YV0"
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- so what happens if they _do_ get harmed, and you don't do anything to rectify it?
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*consequences.*
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at best you may get reprimanded and nothing happens to them, at worst they die or get permanent bodily harm.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DPJ6GARYN14T8HJGH"
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- so looking at it this way, maybe responsibility could be framed as *fear of consequence*?
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4D8PRX7A9F3YTHR5BH"
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- not acting like an adult.
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not forcing yourself to stay serious.
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just rectifying negative consequences.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DGQWC7BKW1MPA47WF"
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- we rectify negative consequences, because of monkey brain herd mentality: [conformity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conformity).
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DRQW5XR9N7M7QZXCV"
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- there are cases where you _have_ to stay serious, where [life's on the line](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QNoygm8bEY){.secret title="And therefur liquidex did not stay serious and did his usual secret music link shenaniganry, including a furry joke in this very sentence you're reading right now. Splendid."} and some could _fucking die or get permanently hurt_.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4D6FT1Y7M7XGBXM83A"
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- but since our species's inception, we as humans have become more than just hunter-gatherers.
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we partake in _culture_.
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and I feel like overly subjecting yourself to herd mentality can do you a lot of harm in that area.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DJQ07R5EFKFM0B5D3"
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- so why the fuck should I not wear a fursuit while speaking at a tech conference?
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4D3QE6DA1FS429G52B"
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- because herd mentality.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DH7YF5QTZBKCKS3Y8"
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- why the fuck am I afraid to go outside with cat ears on?
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DER7Z9D224AM55FAN"
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- because herd mentality.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DVHTBGB8KXC50HFKZ"
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- why the fuck can I not do anything about this?
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DEJY5RP2XM6QSCV4J"
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- because herd mentality;
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one person is too little to make a meaningful difference.
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% id = "01JDJ0RH4DH4G1Z2RQFP1W9PQ5"
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- _sigh_.
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at least I can dream.
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