fix branches in blue calx, for good

content/music/reviews/aphex-twin/blue-calx.tree

@@ -1,40 +1,51 @@
-% id = "01JDDE33S6T32XGTM21T6581Z5"
+% id = "01JCY18RY6T32XGTM21T6581Z5"
 - overcoming [fear of the unknown][page:philosophy/fear-of-the-unknown], episode 1.
 
+    % id = "01JCY18RY6PSVMHVQB3SGDK820"
     - overthinking my [furry][page:philosophy/furry] self again.
     my heart is pounding.
 
-% id = "01JDDE33S66AG2JQCBQT3GYACX"
+% id = "01JCY18RY66AG2JQCBQT3GYACX"
 - I play Blue Calx.
 
+    % id = "01JCY18RY6WVSRX2NNV20GFG4C"
     - as the first notes come in, I sense warm feeling, as if being hugged by someone.
     "it's gonna be okay..."
 
+        % id = "01JCY18RY6ZH2P62ANPFX4FS2A"
         - "you've been through much mental stress before.
         but this... there's no need to panic."
 
+        % id = "01JCY18RY6AYZQX658AH7VCG79"
         - they takes me outside to appreciate the city lights.
         we fly high up into the sky to watch from above.
 
+    % id = "01JCY18RY6V4CX9S4T7G6DYB82"
     - the warm distortion of the tape gives me a sense of nostalgia.
 
+        % id = "01JCY18RY66K56ZSJAJFZQ00S3"
         - I am relieved to be in the place I am right now.
 
+    % id = "01JCY18RY615QGGCGJ9N7H1VGG"
     - as the notes fade away for a moment, only the metronome remains. it makes me feel empowered, but scared.
     "will it really be okay?"
 
+        % id = "01JCY18RY6FM6WV20CBE434H5N"
         - "look at everyone around you.
         struggling just as much as you are.
         you are not alone in this."
 
+        % id = "01JCY18RY696J1NHQS57DWG6BH"
         - the notes come back in to hug me again.
         the warm embrace of the other part of my self.
 
+    % id = "01JCY18RY653Y69109NVR5AZN1"
     - the metronome starts fading away.
     it really is going to be okay.
 
-% id = "01JDDE33S606YTH6EXW70Y6YTB"
+% id = "01JCY18RY606YTH6EXW70Y6YTB"
 - thank you, Richard.
 
-% id = "01JDDE33S61ZHW39ZZ03STAF6Z"
+% id = "01JCY18RY61ZHW39ZZ03STAF6Z"
 - my heart's still pounding, but hearing this track made me feel a little better about myself.
+

content/philosophy.tree

@@ -10,6 +10,10 @@
         - hey don't make this weird, okay.
         showers are good for having thoughts.
 
+% content.link = "philosophy/responsibility"
+  id = "01JDJ0RF3KJ2DT7E4RFVB79ZJH"
++ :page: on responsibility & conformity
+
 % content.link = "philosophy/furry"
   id = "01JCGVBXVME8DC9T79GQPXFZ3C"
 + :page: furry! ---w---
@@ -38,3 +42,4 @@
   content.link = "philosophy/hedonic-treadmill"
 + :page: hedonic treadmill ([wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill))
 
+

content/philosophy/responsibility.tree

@@ -0,0 +1,88 @@
+%% title = "on responsibility & conformity"
+
+% id = "01JDJ0RH4DTY60R2Y0Y3J9FH0W"
+- most of us probably can't imagine holding a company talk on a tech conference while wearing a fursuit.
+
+    % id = "01JDJ0RH4DBDP937C7CB2CY5EP"
+    - I had this revelation today that it would be extremely funny if I did something like that, only for the thought of harsh reality to come knocking at my door.
+    
+        % id = "01JDJ0RH4DVMQ6T3H7EQY86QCD"
+        - if you're giving a presentation on behalf of your company, you are _representing_ the company, so any clownage you pull will have negative consequences on the company's [PR]{title="public relations"}.
+
+% id = "01JDJ0RH4DM4B385FC01FP9MH4"
+- but honestly, I can't shake the feeling that _something is broken here_.
+why do we, as a society, fear sillyness?
+
+    % id = "01JDJ0RH4DF8MQ3ZE7C7CYAE92"
+    + this is not even something our company can fix, no matter how much it portrays to be rebellious or how big, red and bold we make the "*[WE BREAK RULES, WE MAKE RULES]{style="--recursive-casl: 0; --recursive-wght: 800;"}*" text on our website.
+
+        % id = "01JDJ0RH4DHHD4QRNPCXNEWVSD"
+        - which I find ironic considering we make games for mainstreamers.
+
+% id = "01JDJ0RH4D3K5N7EQ6CCZJJZAT"
+- I was thinking about this all day, because it left me dismayed.
+why can I not share my fun and silly with the world at will?
+what's wrong with speaking in a fluffy suit on a tech conference?
+
+    % id = "01JDJ0RH4DKYPR3TTP2EQJT6E5"
+    - and one word came to my mind. "responsibility."
+
+        % id = "01JDJ0RH4DS45GTSXEZ2R6ANT4"
+        - You are responsible for the company image, [Mr.](https://projectile.bandcamp.com/album/sinking){.secret title="Projectile."} {-Anderson-} liquidex.
+
+% id = "01JDJ0RH4DCXZBSDZT29PWAG1R"
+- so what is responsibility?
+
+    % id = "01JDJ0RH4D5BSXGKXBP4Y14TMA"
+    - one might think it's acting "like an adult would," but that doesn't really tell you anything, does it?
+
+    % id = "01JDJ0RH4DYNS21D5C4VPP0GSP"
+    - maybe looking at it from a different angle, you could say that if you're taking care of someone, you're responsible for any harm that happens to them.
+
+        % id = "01JDJ0RH4DZ4CGH5GZVZYK1YV0"
+        - so what happens if they _do_ get harmed, and you don't do anything to rectify it?
+        *consequences.*
+        at best you may get reprimanded and nothing happens to them, at worst they die or get permanent bodily harm.
+
+    % id = "01JDJ0RH4DPJ6GARYN14T8HJGH"
+    - so looking at it this way, maybe responsibility could be framed as *fear of consequence*?
+
+    % id = "01JDJ0RH4D8PRX7A9F3YTHR5BH"
+    - not acting like an adult.
+    not forcing yourself to stay serious.
+    just rectifying negative consequences.
+
+% id = "01JDJ0RH4DGQWC7BKW1MPA47WF"
+- we rectify negative consequences, because of monkey brain herd mentality: [conformity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conformity).
+
+    % id = "01JDJ0RH4DRQW5XR9N7M7QZXCV"
+    -  there are cases where you _have_ to stay serious, where [life's on the line](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QNoygm8bEY){.secret title="And therefur liquidex did not stay serious and did his usual secret music link shenaniganry, including a furry joke in this very sentence you're reading right now. Splendid."} and some could _fucking die or get permanently hurt_.
+    
+        % id = "01JDJ0RH4D6FT1Y7M7XGBXM83A"
+        - but since our species's inception, we as humans have become more than just hunter-gatherers.
+        we partake in _culture_.
+        and I feel like overly subjecting yourself to herd mentality can do you a lot of harm in that area.
+
+% id = "01JDJ0RH4DJQ07R5EFKFM0B5D3"
+- so why the fuck should I not wear a fursuit while speaking at a tech conference?
+
+    % id = "01JDJ0RH4D3QE6DA1FS429G52B"
+    - because herd mentality.
+
+% id = "01JDJ0RH4DH7YF5QTZBKCKS3Y8"
+- why the fuck am I afraid to go outside with cat ears on?
+
+    % id = "01JDJ0RH4DER7Z9D224AM55FAN"
+    - because herd mentality.
+
+% id = "01JDJ0RH4DVHTBGB8KXC50HFKZ"
+- why the fuck can I not do anything about this?
+
+    % id = "01JDJ0RH4DEJY5RP2XM6QSCV4J"
+    - because herd mentality;
+    one person is too little to make a meaningful difference.
+
+% id = "01JDJ0RH4DH4G1Z2RQFP1W9PQ5"
+- _sigh_.
+at least I can dream.
+