philosophy: on nicknames
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% id = "01JBAK3T1Z6QSCGVE9PF9CWFGC"
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- an entry on this website provoked me to write this.
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I don't want to call out the specific one because it would be missing the point.
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% content.link = "philosophy/nicknames"
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id = "01JBWJ0475CPPP1FTWY1BRDWA6"
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+ :page: on nicknames
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170
content/philosophy/nicknames.tree
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170
content/philosophy/nicknames.tree
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%% title = "on nicknames"
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKTDGDBATFM9H27KZK"
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- my given name is Gabriel.
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I'm okay with saying this here, because it's not exactly hard to find that out.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKZRY3G0P0GQK8Z1TY"
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- I don't really try to conceal my real world identity; you can even find my up to date photos online, and I'm okay with them being there.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKNPNHRZ9R2BSBFNHH"
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- you may've noticed however that I don't ever use my real name on the treehouse (outside of this branch.)
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nor do I use my real name on any social platforms or chat apps.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKZ9SV2TV3RKEYK98B"
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- so you may be left wondering, "what's the deal with you calling yourself _liquidex_?"
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% id = "01JBWHXTMK65CZ5Y7660AZS1JW"
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- I'm a zoomer; the Internet existed since before I was born.
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my first exposure to the world of computers (and the Internet) was when I was just 6 years old, and I remember my uncle telling me something along the lines of:
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> Do not type in your real world details _anywhere_ online.
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>
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> Not your name, your home address, your phone number.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKFWRPNJXW5HA50ZAS"
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- this was in 2010.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKGRHKNSK0GG13FNEJ"
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- so I took that advice _very_ seriously.
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_never_ input your real world data anywhere.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKDJ9JBZR93DFXPGBE"
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+ later on my cousin would introduce me to the world of email and [online chat](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gadu-Gadu).
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she came up with a nickname for me, `gabens`.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKGGRPMJCFKHR6BQ60"
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- it's pronounced like "gah-bens."
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this was before [Gaben](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabe_Newell) was popular in Poland.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKDJDFTGHY57AHVW6E"
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- I didn't really like that nickname though, since it still had my real name in it...
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so I used it for email only, and went on to search for a different one.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMK6PQNR8M45JSXQYT9"
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+ I went through many iterations.
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in 2014, I finally arrived at the word `liquid`, which had a really cool sound to it.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMK0E4EPJMS40X9ZW00"
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- I came up with this word while playing around with Mom's smartphone at the time.
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I was in the car with my sister, waiting for Mom to leave work and drive us home, and I was playing around with HTC's image editor.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKZ7JND40G9F9RKSJS"
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+ we had just adopted a cat at the time; I was using a picture of her as my test subject.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKA5BBH22ATKZGK0V9"
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- (she's still alive and well! though she broke her tail a couple years ago :cry:)
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKG21RQH51Y7FT9ZQW"
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- one of the filters was called "Prism" and it had a few kaleidoscope-like patterns, chopping up the image into bits, shifting it around a bunch, and masking off parts.
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the pattern I liked the most had a distinct italic `L`-like shape, and as I was looking at the picture, the word `liquid` popped into my head.
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"yup, that's gonna be my new online nickname!"
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKAJ6T5PGJAQ24TJGM"
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- at first I transformed it into `liquidek`, which is a diminutive of `liquid` if you interpret it as a Polish word.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKE1ZXRKF2Z4CH9HXP"
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- later I made it more serious and turned it into `iLiquid600`.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMK4NRVXXEXJPGPB0NX"
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- later I dropped the `600` and it became just `iLiquid`.
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it stayed like this for a really long time.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKCCHA6YVP5F2V2CVW"
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- my friends got used just to calling me `liquid` at this point, dropping the `i` in the front.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKS5D5JGSXZQSZXK71"
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- then in 2019 we were dicking around in FL Studio with a friend, and I jokingly chose an alias for my shitpost music---`DJ Liquidex`.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKRND5W0AQAX6R4QZS"
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+ I really liked the ring of it though, and in 2020 my online identity went through a rebranding---change all nicknames from `iLiquid` to `liquidex`, and adopt a new logo for myself.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMK2VS2ZB7CEMCPG8F3"
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- scroll to the top of the page, and it's still that same logo!
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the original had a rainbow in it, but I don't have it on the website because I thought it was a little too distracting.
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![the original version of the logo, with a rainbow beneath the L][pic:01JBSYYTVXW7EG2YH13P5W983V]
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fun fact: this logo was drawn in [Aseprite](https://aseprite.org/), using [ENDESGA's 32 color palette](https://lospec.com/palette-list/endesga-32).
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKQX9MVXJTZ5Q0N18D"
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- I think the logo still holds up really well after all these years.
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it's unlikely I'll change it any time soon; it's basically my digital signature at this point.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKF17KRBCZK1GH90PR"
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- I might bring back the rainbow though.
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maybe on hover :thinking:
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKFCBWBPP20G397ES5"
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+ when I was looking for a fake surname for liquidex, I chose Woźniak.
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it's a very common name with Polish roots that starts with the same letter as my real name.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKH39JK3G72F8M4BFC"
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- _and_ Steve Wozniak.
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I don't know much about him personally, but he seems like a worthy person to look up to.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKCS16X93VVJWYBH6W"
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- and that's the whole story; that's how liquidex came to be.
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I've been using this nickname for a few years now and I really like it.
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it has a friendly but slightly edgy and quirky vibe to it, which fits my personality well.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKKJB8JH4TCH8XSAZS"
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- I'm really happy with having a nickname.
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it represents a part of me I don't actually hate.
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it represents something I built up to over many years; my personal brand, my online identity.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKCKVCZ2DYDK2RPCNG"
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- but an interesting thought arises: would I be more normal online if my family hadn't educated me to hide my own identity?
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKT1TCWT89JX88QVX1"
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- and another interesting thought: nicknames seem like a thing of _our_ generation---gen Z.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKM2G2AF70VX3X2KST"
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- as we were just getting Internet into our homes, our parents wanted us to be safe out there.
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so to try and minimise the risk of getting manipulated by a pedophile, they told us to _never, never ever_ input our real data online.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMK87DR99KKP6WSF5J4"
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- there's an interesting divide that happened because of this.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKGTNCMMZ2TJ8XPFWV"
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- there were the folks that grew up with facebook, which forced you to use your real world identity.
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these people generally seem to use their real names everywhere still.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKBRWRCT0TKMYE9W5G"
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- there's also us nerds who grew up doing other things; socialising more online than irl, taking care not to run into any sus people along the` `{=html}way.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMK1981C88E4HF3WPFS"
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- I've been thinking about this and it doesn't seem like it's entirely _generational_; initially it seemed like a gen Z thing, but I know people far older than gen Z who do prefer using a nickname.
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however, I do think a large portion of gen Z _nerds_ chooses to use nicknames because of how they were raised.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKA0C6ZW75T269C9AR"
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- I'm grateful for my parents' care when it came to my online presence.
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sharing your real data online when you're a kid sounds like a _baaad_ idea.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKXBK1B99VED9GV2BT"
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- but this also has a flip side: being the weirdo I am, the idea of hiding your real world identity online keeps lingering within me.
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and that sometimes feels wrong when you're already an adult and see your coworkers being okay with using _their_ real names, and heck, real _photos_ online.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMK9QAJGHHM9VRQ02M3"
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- also, while it supposedly helped me protect me as a kid, it also caused _so much_ unnecessary self-hate.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMK4SMAMG4W61E02ZSV"
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- it instilled [a fear of seeing pictures of myself](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNKrcwOG-SE){.secret}.
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I never published my own face online, so I never got much of a chance to look at my own pictures.
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and I don't ever take photos of myself, because I don't like looking at my pictures.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKPQ6RN7TNXN51BHGV"
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- so it's like an endless cycle of disliking the way I look.
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but honestly... I'm okay with that.
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I've learned to accept my face in the mirror. I don't need it shoved everywhere I go.
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I'm not Aphex Twin.
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKKZ4H2THV6C2A6SCN"
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- besides, I have a cute fursona, and I'm proud of it :smile:
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% id = "01JBWHXTMKR4WZK36WYA0E1XF0"
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- and there's so much more to a person than just the way they look.
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